Tuesday, May 14, 2013


"Change is inevitable!"

Recently, there's been a lot of changes happening around my circle of life.  Change is part of life I know but how rapid it evolves is something that I always ponder about.  We all know that change is inevitable.  In fact from the moment we enter this world, our life goes through this cycle of change from every aspect - physical, emotion, etc.

In the career field, I'm seeing change through the organisational structure.  This form of change can come in varied 'sizes' - small or huge; and the impact to the employees in the organisation has a huge co-relation to the magnitude of the re-organisational exercise.  In the past 4 years or so (and currently still...), I've seen policies and procedures changed.  But most importantly, I've seen changes in people (in comes the new and out goes the old ones!).    From a business point of view, professionally, the objective of the change is meant to be positive to bring about newness and for the company to progress along with the changing time and trends.  From a personal point of view,  it takes a toll on many when  you lose those that you have made connection and build tight relationships with over the years.  But it's business as usual....

On a personal front, change seems to be a constant factor in my life - marriage, parenthood.... Every changing path that I come across, I'd be telling myself "This is the most challenging hurdle!"  Yet it would pass by like the wave and then I meet the next challenge... So here I am again thinking "Ok, this year is tough..." and all because I have an elder son who's sitting for his final primary school exam (PSLE), another son who's mid-way through his primary school year, and a young princess who's due for primary school registration in a couple of months time!

So how do I deal with changes with so many going on right now?

1.  Change matters and I know it's inevitable.  I just have to face the brutal truth whether the outcome is postive or otherwise.   The truth is we can make plans but it is He (Allah), the Almighty, who will determine the final outcome.  As the saying goes, "If it's yours, it's yours..." and if things don't fall into the places you expect, this could also be a sign of blessings in disguise.

2.  Be prepared.  I know that I'll be facing a tough year this time particularly with each of my child going through another key milestones in their young lives.  I guess I was prepared for this year especially so since last year.  As such, I've decided at the beginning of this year that their agenda would be my priority.

3.  Face the roadblocks.  As much as I tell myself I'm prepared for what's coming, I also try to anticipate the impending obstacles that would come my way.  This could be in any form - physical, social, emotional... The most obvious roadblock for me would be the actual mental torture of anticipation which leads to STRESS!

4.   Handling the roadblocks.  Although it looks like I'm equipped with knowing the fact that I will have obstacles to face in changing situation, it's definitely harder to actually handle that difficult situation.  As mentioned, my biggest obstacle is the mind game!  When shoved to a corner, I'll be at my wits end trying to untangle my thoughts which are often split into 2 or more pieces... This is when I look towards company of close friends and family members to throw out those thoughts.  Most of the time I sort of know the outcome but just needed the affirmation.

5.  Accept, adapt and move forward.  I think in any changing situation, the most important factor is to be able to accept.  In general, it's never easy to accept changes as we human beings are habitual creatures.  Acceptance may take place either in a short or long period of time.  But once this takes place, it makes it easier to start adapting and make small or big steps forward.

I'm currently undergoing extreme stress level when I realised that my son who is an average scorer in school work may not have enough time to turnaround for his final exam.  I was prepared and knew that there will be many challenges for us and him.  Sometimes I have to admit that I'm on the verge of giving up hoping.  However, upon reflection tonight, I have accepted the fact that he is what he is.  I will continue to support him especially from the emotional aspect as I have seen how much he has progressed over the past year with some help from the therapy sessions as well.  If given a choice, I would of course try to reduce the unnecessary pressure for him from the education system here.   That choice is not here yet, so for now I will continue to move forward with him and help him to take those small steps.  InsyaAllah (with God's will) he will succeed at his very own pace.

Next stop....Primary One registration for the little princess....the emotional stress is creeping out I know...but oh well....that's another change story for next time perhaps...

Does change matter to you?  How do you handle changes in your life?  
I hope you are able to embrace change no matter what size it is...

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