CHANGE MATTERS

"Change is inevitable!"

Recently, there's been a lot of changes happening around my circle of life.  Change is part of life I know but how rapid it evolves is something that I always ponder about.  We all know that change is inevitable.  In fact from the moment we enter this world, our life goes through this cycle of change from every aspect - physical, emotion, etc.

In the career field, I'm seeing change through the organisational structure.  This form of change can come in varied 'sizes' - small or huge; and the impact to the employees in the organisation has a huge co-relation to the magnitude of the re-organisational exercise.  In the past 4 years or so (and currently still...), I've seen policies and procedures changed.  But most importantly, I've seen changes in people (in comes the new and out goes the old ones!).    From a business point of view, professionally, the objective of the change is meant to be positive to bring about newness and for the company to progress along with the changing time and trends.  From a personal point of view,  it takes a toll on many when  you lose those that you have made connection and build tight relationships with over the years.  But it's business as usual....

On a personal front, change seems to be a constant factor in my life - marriage, parenthood.... Every changing path that I come across, I'd be telling myself "This is the most challenging hurdle!"  Yet it would pass by like the wave and then I meet the next challenge... So here I am again thinking "Ok, this year is tough..." and all because I have an elder son who's sitting for his final primary school exam (PSLE), another son who's mid-way through his primary school year, and a young princess who's due for primary school registration in a couple of months time!

So how do I deal with changes with so many going on right now?

1.  Change matters and I know it's inevitable.  I just have to face the brutal truth whether the outcome is postive or otherwise.   The truth is we can make plans but it is He (Allah), the Almighty, who will determine the final outcome.  As the saying goes, "If it's yours, it's yours..." and if things don't fall into the places you expect, this could also be a sign of blessings in disguise.

2.  Be prepared.  I know that I'll be facing a tough year this time particularly with each of my child going through another key milestones in their young lives.  I guess I was prepared for this year especially so since last year.  As such, I've decided at the beginning of this year that their agenda would be my priority.

3.  Face the roadblocks.  As much as I tell myself I'm prepared for what's coming, I also try to anticipate the impending obstacles that would come my way.  This could be in any form - physical, social, emotional... The most obvious roadblock for me would be the actual mental torture of anticipation which leads to STRESS!

4.   Handling the roadblocks.  Although it looks like I'm equipped with knowing the fact that I will have obstacles to face in changing situation, it's definitely harder to actually handle that difficult situation.  As mentioned, my biggest obstacle is the mind game!  When shoved to a corner, I'll be at my wits end trying to untangle my thoughts which are often split into 2 or more pieces... This is when I look towards company of close friends and family members to throw out those thoughts.  Most of the time I sort of know the outcome but just needed the affirmation.

5.  Accept, adapt and move forward.  I think in any changing situation, the most important factor is to be able to accept.  In general, it's never easy to accept changes as we human beings are habitual creatures.  Acceptance may take place either in a short or long period of time.  But once this takes place, it makes it easier to start adapting and make small or big steps forward.

I'm currently undergoing extreme stress level when I realised that my son who is an average scorer in school work may not have enough time to turnaround for his final exam.  I was prepared and knew that there will be many challenges for us and him.  Sometimes I have to admit that I'm on the verge of giving up hoping.  However, upon reflection tonight, I have accepted the fact that he is what he is.  I will continue to support him especially from the emotional aspect as I have seen how much he has progressed over the past year with some help from the therapy sessions as well.  If given a choice, I would of course try to reduce the unnecessary pressure for him from the education system here.   That choice is not here yet, so for now I will continue to move forward with him and help him to take those small steps.  InsyaAllah (with God's will) he will succeed at his very own pace.

Next stop....Primary One registration for the little princess....the emotional stress is creeping out I know...but oh well....that's another change story for next time perhaps...

Does change matter to you?  How do you handle changes in your life?  

I hope you are able to embrace change no matter what size it is...

MONDAY BLUES

Ok so Monday is here again which is great....but how come we usually don't sound so enthusiastic about it? This post is going to be weird because I just wrote on TGIF last friday, and here I am writing on the blues...!

I wonder why we call it the Monday Blues?  Do you have a clue? 

In general, instead of having the energy all geared up for the week, most people, especially working adults, tend to experience a dip in the energy level just as the week peeks in.  Rightfully, after a well-rested 2-day weekend (for those working the typical 5-day work week cycle), we should be more energised right? 

Hmmm.....not quite for me actually.  That phrase 'well-rested' doesn't seem to be in my weekend vocabulary list lately, at least for the past few years!!   By the time it's Sunday night, I'm like this...

 

I don't know how I cope with Monday Blues all these years but I think I'm able to manage them well by doing some of these...

1.  Always pray for a brighter day ahead! :)

2.  Clear the space!  This is a must-do before I start off my coaching sessions with my coachee usually.     

     Basically it's clearing your mind of the things that are huddling around at the back of your mind.  All you

     need to do is verbalise what you have at the top of your mind, followed by acknowledging your feelings

     about it, and then say that you are going to clear that space (or thoughts).  Clear at least 3 things!  So

     for instance, one of the things that I cleared today was..."My mom is not well today.  I empathise

     with how she feels and am worried for her well-being.  I will check on her later.  For now, I'm

     going to put that aside". 

     Oh but of course, don't forget to clear the space (around you) literally! 

3.  Focus on the postitive things (hehehe...I know, I know...easier said than done when you know you've

     got loads to do or follow up!!) But go ahead....just keep that focus.   If it helps, write it as a list.  I try not

     to confuse this with my daily 'to-do' list.  If you've been following this blog, you know that I have my

     emo-scrolls :)

4.  Start the morning talking with friends or colleagues about the weekend (good or bad) or about life topics

     in general.  I suggest spending a few minutes perhaps (if you can spare the time) over a cup of coffee. 

     For me, this is just like a daily engine perk-me-up... I need coffee and I need to talk!!  After that, go

     ahead, just drown yourselves in the many emails that you've got to clear or wash that pile of laundry

     waiting for you at the utility corner! 

5.  If you are going to start somethig new (such as a new job, new hobby, etc) - start midweek!  That way

     you get to beat the blues and start fresh without thinking of the blues...

6.  Last but not least do look forward to the weekend, of course! Even though you know it's routine (at

     least for me...) but hey, c'est la vie! :)

 So how do you beat your Monday Blues? 

Share them or add on to the list here...

Have a bright day today!!

STAYING POSITIVE

When you are feeling down, what most people around you will say to comfort you is, "Come on...stay positive!"

I really do appreciate this short phrase of comfort but seriously when you are at the lowest point of the pits, it's easier said than done.  About 2 years ago, I got myself a life coach to help me sort out on things that I wanted to do.  I remembered one of my biggest dilemma was to stay motivated.  It was hard and took me a few sessions to realise that I need to be doing something significant to get myself up and going again.

One of the things that I thought through was giving myself a daily mantra.  Knowing myself, I didn't want the mantra to be some lengthy phrases or filled with quotes to memorise.  I wanted it personalise and something that shouts "That's ME!"

So I decided to create this...my very own daily dosage of Emo-scrolls!! :) 

Each scoll contains mostly a 1-word emotion description such as these... 

I like the fact that these scrolls are bright and colourful as I love colours!  So how do I use them?  Easy....

Every morning before we set off to send the kids to school, I will unfold one scroll and read out the word that flashes through.  In order to embed this emotion futher, I would tweet the word too.  So that's basically how I'd keep motivating myself for the day by remembering the first emotion word that pops out in the morning.  The best part about this was that I was able to get my kids to participate and made it their mantra for the day too!  They looked forward to be able to pick the scroll of the day and unfolding the emotion behind it.... And oh by the way.... all the emotions written on the scolls are of course words that depict happiness!!  So that means it is non-negotiable that we stay positive throughout the day :P

So what's the one thing you would do to motivate yourself to stay positive?  Feel free to share.....

Have an AWESOME day! :-)